The Storm Report: “Crazy” Like A Fox-- Local Cut

The Storm Report: “Crazy” Like A Fox

August 23rd, 2006 [12:51PM] Posted by: Byron Beck | 0 COMMENTS

BREAKING NEWS! Rockstar: Supernova’s coming to PDX! Tickets go on sale Wednesday August 30, at 10 am for the Feb. 16, 2007 Memorial Coliseum show. Tickets priced at $55, $45 and $35 can be purchased at the Rose Quarter Box Office, all participating Safeway outlets, RoseQuarter.com or by calling 877-789-7673. Prices do not include service charges.
Psst…I’ll be there…only if Storm is in front.

For a couple of minutes, just after I finished asking her questions for my interview with her (see Tuesday’s The Storm Report: Rock You Like A Hurricane), Storm and I got to shoot the shit over the phone. She sounded weary, but not worn out. Most of all though, she sounded like she needed to talk to a friend—or at least someone who knew her before the whole Rockstar: Supernova thing blew up on TV.

During those brief moments we talked about a lot of stuff, but one thing she said really stuck with me. She told me a story, one that she’s been sharing with people on the show and in Los Angeles. It had to do with the last, real conversation I had with her. It was from early summer, when were both standing in the kitchen of a friend’s house. Storm had just told me she was about to embark on a project—one that she was forbidden to talk about—and that she knew, if she got it, would be huge.

“Remember when you kept repeating, ‘the world needs to her your voice’ to me?” said Storm. “I thought you had Tourette’s. But you said: ‘if I say something three times it always comes true.’ And you were right, Byron. The dream is coming true; the world is hearing my voice. You sent me down here, boy!”

Yeah, right, me and about a kajillion other local fans.

Last night, on the umpteenth week of Rockstar: Supernova the audience got to hear Storm’s miraculous voice once again. Storm, who’s beginning to look more and more like a mash-up of Charlize Theron and Courtney Love took a song no one else do, Aerosmith’s “Cryin” and made it her own. Crazy eyes, crazy moves, it was all there. And, what was the craziest, is that the guys that have to judge her—Tommy Lee and the Boys—didn’t go crazy for her performance.

Typical. They’re so far up Dilana’s ass I’m surprised we can’t see their horns popping through the top of her head.

Speaking of Dilana, her story line for the show, as well as her performances, strike exactly the same note every week. No surprise that she would try to spice things up this week and get naked, like gay Toby did last week, just so she could sing, what we came to find out, was her estranged mother’s favorite song. Fucked up doesn’t even begin to cover that subject.

Last night, Dave called Ryan a dark horse. He’s actually more of a robot. Why else would Ryan destroy a guitar just five seconds after Dave said he wanted someone, anyone, to damage some equipment on stage before the end of the season? It was just so Pavlovian it made me throw up a little bit in my mouth.

Speaking of throwing up, why can’t gay Toby keep his clothes for one minute? And, when Gilby introduced the audience to his pet, “Chopper,” and Dave replied “What up, dawg?” I felt the whole show had just jumped the shark into the nefarious underworld that is American Idol. All that’s missing is Paula Abdul. Oh wait, Rockstar has Boobs Burke to fill those high-heeled pumps.

Oh well, know that our dear Storm is finally in the dreaded “bottom three” (a space she said she’s actually looking forward to because it allows her to sing more than once a week) it’s time to start the clock on how many days it will be before she heads home. And, no she won’t be going home tonight. Her story line is heating up and there is no way she can leave the show until they milk that one dry. No, if my theory holds up, the one I shared with Storm in yesterday’s report, is right then Magni will go home tonight.

Until then here’s her stellar performance from last night