Things To Say Before Being Punched In The Face

“Let’s agree to disagree.”
Everyone loves reason. That’s why it’s called “science.” But love is crazy. Amour fou, as the continentals say. Often, nothing is as provocative as reason.

“I’m Jeff.”
They don’t want to know who you are. Your anonymity is their protection.

“Are you serious?”
Questioning the veracity of a would-be batterer is a quick way to have your question answered. With fists.

“You dropped your smile.”
Most people who want to punch you are unhappy. Say this while pretending to scoop a “smile” from the floor.

“You’re afraid to dive into the plasma pool…”
“…aren’t ya? You’re afraid to be destroyed and re-created, aren’t ya? I’ll bet you think you woke me up about the flesh, don’t you? But you only know society’s straight line about the flesh. You can’t penetrate beyond society’s sick, gray fear of the flesh. Drink deep, or taste not the plasma spring. Y’see what I’m sayin’? And I’m not just talking about sex and penetration, I’m talking about penetration beyond the veil of the flesh. A deep, penetrating dive into the plasma pool.”

Drakkar Sauna’s Alternate Top 5:
Top 5 Favorite lines from The Fly (1986)

5. “Do you want coffee with your sugar?” No, he doesn’t, Geena Davis, he craves sweets. This is tied with, “Be careful, he eats candy bars.”

4. “How does Brundlefly eat? Well, he found out the hard and painful way that he eats very much the way a fly eats. His teeth are now useless, because although he can chew up solid food, he can’t digest them. Solid food hurts. So like a fly, Brundlefly breaks down solids with a corrosive enzyme, playfully called “vomit drop”. He regurgitates on his food, it liquifies, and then he sucks it back up. Ready for a demonstration, kids?”

3. “My teeth have begun to fall out. The medicine cabinet is now the Brundle Museum of Natural History. You wanna see what else is in it?” Brundlefly shows her the cabinet then G.D. says, “Is there a doctor in the house?” in a theatrical way and sort of laughs, but Brundlefly doesn’t find it funny and the tone becomes awkward.

2. “The flesh. It should make the computer, uh, crazy.” Then Geena Davis says how do you make a computer crazy? and Brundlefly says, spend the night with your ex-boyfriend and see, and again the scene becomes tense and awkward as G.D. starts looking around on the floor for her clothes.

1.“You’re afraid to dive into the plasma pool, aren’t ya’? You’re afraid to be destroyed and recreated, aren’t ya? I’ll bet you think you woke me up about the flesh, don’t you? But you only know society’s straight line about the flesh. You can’t penetrate beyond society’s sick, grey, fear of the flesh. Drink deep, or taste not, the plasma spring. Y’see what I’m sayin? And I’m not just talking about sex and penetration, I’m talking about penetration beyond the veil of the flesh. A deep penetrating dive into the plasma pool.”

SEE IT: Drakkar Sauna plays Artistery on Thursday, July 9, with Ryland Bouchard. 7:30 pm. $6. All ages.

Related posts:

1. Boy Eats Drum Machine, “Hoop+Wire,” Hoop+Wire (Tender Loving Empire) With ever
2. LEAK: Soul P., “Money Money Money,” (Unreleased) Six years

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.