Last night I was in the mood to for a little queer Christmas shopping. That’s why I found myself strolling into two downtown stores: the new Under U 4 Men and the dramatically redesigned Abercrombie & Fitch.
As I’ve reported last week in my Queer Window column, Under U 4 Men is an upscale men’s booty boutique. I had been told that I would be confronted with models/employees wearing nothing but a nice pair of skivvies. Well, that was not the case. The fairly cute (and fully clothed) man behind the counter did inform me that he’d be slipping into some smaller a little bit later in the evening, because it was “First Thursday.” That said, I saw what I liked and picked up a pair of intimate Andrew Christian undies for my partner that features strategically enhancing “Show It Technology” that’s “designed for long-lasting comfort as it gently lifts and supports your best assets.”
Abercrombie & Fitch finally opened its downtown drawers—ooh I mean doors—at Southwest Broadway and Morrison Street last weekend after been closed for what seemed like forever. I have to say the complete makeover freaked me out. The once single-story store now features two low-lit, jam-packed, perfectly manicured merchandise floors, elevators—instead of escalators—and a really weird empty space smack dab in the middle of the store that makes absolutely no sense. When I asked one of the three employees working there if they’d been very busy, one of them remarked, “It’s been dead. I don’t think people know we are open.”
And why would they? In place of store windows stocked with photographic naked man-flesh as in the past, a new design concept, which wraps the store in heavy, wooden shades, gives the impression that this might be a good place to head to in case of a nuclear attack. And for all the new space you’ll still find yourself bumping into scantily clad mannequins, fake plants and that blaring music that seems to be A&F’s mark in trade. So we waited all this time for this?
Why WW keeps printing this guy’s drivel is beyond my comprehension…
I look forward to Byron’s column every week.