News and Culture

This is what the Portland Beavers came up with as possible alternatives to the Beavers nickname?

Look, we’re not idiots. This fan vote on changing the Beavers name is all about merchandising. Minor-league teams change uniforms and nicknames so they can sell new merchandise and create a vintage market for their old gear. If you don’t think it’s all about the merchandising, check out the prices on already-available gear for Portland hosting the 2009 Triple A All-Star Game.

But let’s take new owner Merritt Paulson at his word that there’s confusion for fans trying to distinguish between his franchise and the Oregon State Beavers. These are the alternatives?

_Green Sox. Clever. This is the last refuge of cutesy minor league minds. See here and here.

_Wet Sox. This is dumber than Green Sox and sounds like something that happens when you’re so drunk you piss your pants.

_Thorns. What, weeds didn’t make the cut?

_Sockeyes. Black eyes makes more sense, as in Beavers ownership will have a black eye if it’s so desperate for buzz that it’s compelled to change a perfectly good name.

If you’re really confused between the Portland Beavers and the OSU Beavers, here’s my advice as an Oregon Ducks fan. I root for the Portland Beavers and against the OSU Beavers. And I assume OSU Beavers fans root for the Portland Beavers and OSU (and against Oregon). There, that doesn’t seem so hard.

For the love of tradition and all that makes sense, please vote for the Beavers.

1. Portland Beavers Come To Their Senses Sanity ha
2. Beavers Unveil Re-Designed Uniforms and Logo After muc
3. OH THE MISERY: Beavers’ Joy is Ducks Sadness Alright,
4. Portland Beavers To Retain Name, Even If They Move? Mayor Den
5. What’s In a Name? A Lot, for Portland Beavers Fans Portland

This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 22nd, 2007 at 10:27 am and is filed under Sports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.