When I was a freshman at Covenant College in Georgia, I was a member of an intermural indoor soccer team. (I realize this sounds like a boring story, but trust me, there’s a national news angle here.) One evening, our team did something rare in its history: We won a game. I was so excited that I threw off my glasses and ran onto the court for a group hug. Unfortunately, the lack of visual aid led me to run toward a player on the opposing team, who decided that the rather lumpish 18-year-old running toward him was an imminent threat. So he body-slammed me to the ground and punched me in the face. Several of my teammates pulled him off me, a minor brawl ensued, and when my attacker got back from a brief hospital visit, he was suspended from school for several weeks.
That was about the last I saw of Timothy Cleary.
But apparently his punching days are far from over. Timothy Cleary was arrested last Sunday after allegedly walking up to an open casket at an Orlando funeral and physically attacking the corpse. Motives are, as you might imagine, unclear.
I am, naturally, very sorry to hear this. But I am relieved to no longer be identified as the most helpless person Tim Cleary has allegedly punched.
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Tags: Punched In The Face
talk about kicking a guy when he’s down
punching, not kicking
That was a great game, wasn’t it? Our first and only victory that season, thanks mostly to Joe’s impressive hat-trick. Remember the video footage of Tim charging toward Lucas as he was leaving the gym? I actually put that whole 9 minute video on a CD which theoretically still exists somewhere at my parents’ house.
Anyway, I have no idea what happened with the corpse, but I do remember that game. In all fairness to Tim, we’d been acting like idiots that whole night (and yes, having a fantastic time). Fern was on the sidelines shouting things like "free ice cream cone to anyone who punches Tim Cleary in the face." (Fern and Tim had their own history of mutual dislike) And while Tim should never have hit you, I think in his state at the time, he genuinely believed that you and some of the other Catecombians running toward each other were actually charging him.
It’s also worth mentioning that afterward, although Tim wasn’t allowed to participate in any more intramurals, Catacombs was also punished by not being allowed to count our victory in the official standings.
Good times, eh?