News and Culture

Welcome, once again, to WW’s Blazer blog. In this installment, I plan to regail you with all the pictures of third year Timberwolves bigman Oleksiy Pecherov I can hunt down on the internet. Observe:

Ah, another day, another game. I’m back as your host after a bout with back strain and a trip to the Oregon coast (still beautiful, still miserable), ready for what promises to be a thrilling game between the Portland Trail Blazers and the Minnesota Timberwolves. You may think I’m being sarcastic. I’m not. While the Blazers have enough talent to crush these guys even after a few plates full of Izzy’s pizza, they tend to play down to the competition. So expect this game to go down to the wire. Or will it be the ‘Zers first real throttling of an opponent on home court? Or on any court? Time will tell.

The pre-game music is a mix of bad rap, ’70s space-funk and L.L. Cool Jay courtesy of D.J. OG One, a regular figure here in the arena as of late. The building is a ghost town with 20 minutes left, but that’s pretty normal—why would anyone want to sit down pre-game when they’re about to sit for two and a half hours?—I’m sure it’ll be “a sellout crowd” regardless of how many season ticket holders decide to stay home and watch it on T.V..

Did you know that Greg Oden has something to do with this Manga?

Which led to this weird image:

First thing’s first: Plenty of footage of Blazer slam dunks, black and white practice footage, soft-focus remembrances of seasons past, screaming fans reacting to buzzer-beaters, and of course the mythical Greg Oden dunk footage. If only we saw a bit more of that. The fans have begun to pack in, i’ts looking pretty full now. Let’s play ball, as they never say in basketball…

FIRST QUARTER:
I’m sure this has been reported elsewhere, but Nate’s opting to keep the three-guard lineup intact this evening, as he did on Friday against San Antonio. Minnesota doesn’t have the size or talent to make that a bad idea, but this is a team that runs, so we’ll see how Portland matches up.

By the by, there is really no reason for a casual basketball fan to watch the T-Wolves play right now. Al Jefferson is the only star on the team, and he’s been (knock on wood here for the ‘Zers faithful) pretty bad thus far—at least compared to his stellar output from when he was healthy last year. Here comes the tip… Portland takes it.

10:49
Two possessions come and go for each club and the score is still zip-zip. But Ryan Gomes nails a mid-range jumper and Steve Blake drops a three on ‘em to make it 3-2 ‘Zers. Al Jeff drops one of his pretty hooks from about six feet out. Boy is that pretty. Maybe I was wrong about his health. Maybe he’ll go big tonight.

Despite the fact that it has filled up pretty well in here, I can hear every word the radio guys say. Not a real excited crowd. Oleksiy is the first dude on court to dunk, but Greg Oden gallops down the lane a few possessions later for a two-handed throwdown of his own. And wow, he doesn’t swing his feet out this time! Sooner or later he’s gonna get T’d up for that.

7:28
The Blazers get out on the break, with Andre Miller running hard to the hole. It’s really nice to see the Blazers’ transition game taking of. They looked good in that department when they opened the season, but slacked on it and hadn’t got back into the habit of bolting up court until the San Antonio game. If the team can play in the paint the way MacMillan likes and bust out on the fast break every now and again, too, it seems to me this Blazer team would have something real special going on. At 6:23, they prove they can play lockdown D…on the Timberwolves. From now on, just add “on/against the Timberwolves” to my every sweeping generalization about this ball club.

5:15
Andre Miller is one cool customer. He’s off to a very nice first quarter this evening in his second straight start.

3:26
Ball movement is real nice thus far in this game. That’s the plus. The minus is that Brandon Roy is only at 2 points and he’s leaving the game. Is he going to be happy playing in a system that diminishes his star power? The media-savvy answer would be “So long as the team is winning, I’m happy,” but it’s hard to imagine the advertising campaign hasn’t gone to his head a little bit. After all, he’s BRANDON ROY.

2:27
Outlaw and (drumroll) Bayless are set to check in, but the beleaguered Wolves call a timeout. Knowing Nate, he’ll change his mind about Bayless when the timeout is over.

Nope! J-Bayl plays and he takes a shot to the chin. Ouch. Messing with his jaw for a couple minutes afterward.

0.5
I’d like to see the one-on-one game between Jerryd Bayless and the Wolves’ Aussie bigman rookie, Nathan Jawai. Neither likes to pass, both are pretty beastly. Both spend most of their time on the bench.

33 – 24 ‘Zers at the end of one. That’s about right where it should be. A 36-point blowout if they stay on this pace (which, of course, they will not).

SECOND QUARTER
Oh, Todd!

10:45
A very nice Rudy-to-Bayless alley-oop there. Really nice to see Jerryd getting some minutes, and to see the Blazers playing so unselfishly and scrappy. Lots to like. Fun stuff.

9:21
Jerryd sits down between Brandon Roy and LaMarcus Aldridge on the bench, and both give him some friendly joshing. J-Bayl is all smiles, which are more becoming on him than the usual scowl.

Dunk-a-thon!

41-26 Blazers. Al Jefferson’s about to go to the line, but the big guy was down on his back rubbing his knee a moment ago. Please don’t get hurt, Al, you’re my only fantasy basketball hope!

8:16
Does Rebecca Harlowe always get that front-row seat? So unfair. Want her job. Gotta lose weight.

7:16
I liked Jerryd Bayless’ dunk so much I started thinking “why doesn’t Steve Blake ever dunk the ball?” Here’s why:

It appears as if he just forgot for a moment that he wasn’t tall or athletic enough to dunk. But how could that possibly happen? How could anyone who can’t dunk mistake themselves for someone who can? Maybe he did it in practice once, but the birght lights took away his leaping ability? Maybe he had a dream? Still, I’ve had dunk dreams (you better believe it) without mistaking them for reality. On a good day I can get my ring finger caught in the hoop.

6:08
Just moments ago, Greg Oden completely beat Al Jefferson with a nice swiveling post move, and sorta threw the ball down into the basket from above. It’s singe-coverage for Greg tonight, so I think we’d all like to see a bit more of that. On the other end, Al Jeff looks panicky while going up against Big Ohio. This is not the Al Jefferson I fell in love with two seasons ago. I don’t even know if I’m still in love with him. That’s something I’m going to have to really think about.

Sorry, on a bit of a YouTube kick now. I remember watching this on TNT when I was in New York. I was so depressed.

5:35
You think Blaze ever eats a kid when no one’s paying attention? I’ve heard stories…

4:05
51-38 Blazers. LaMarcus just took quite a spill, but he’s alright. It would look like a sweet breakdancing move if you rewound and fast-forwarded it again and again.

3:12
Every time I see LaMarcus I think of his ad for OHSU. “It’s my heart we’re talking about, I need someone I can put my trust in,” or whatever. Pretty crazy that you can have a heart murmur thing and then get it “all cleared up.” Pretty sure if I had any sort of heart condition I’m broke enough that I’d just die. Unless we all have healthcare now. Do we all have healthcare now? No, I didn’t think so.

1:27
It’s an 18-point lead for the Blazers (right on track for that blowout thus far), and Brandon Roy only has two points. Whaaaa?

HALFTIME
Blazers up 62 – 45. See you in a bit.

THIRD QUARTER

8:09
Apparently the line to get a polish dog is longer than it was last year. Or it moves slower. Or something. Because I just missed a chunk of the game. But here are my impressions upon returning:

*Zenners polish dogs have a sorta chunky texture I’m not sure I can get used to.
*The sauerkraut is not of the highest quality.
*The guy that sold it to me wouldn’t refill my water cup, even though there was a water dispenser in his soda machine. What up with that? We were waiting on a dog!

6:17
A crazy no-look pass from LaMarcus Aldridge to Andre Miller is punctuated by a timeout from Minnesota. You might not see it on the Sportscenter, because Miller missed the resulting layup. But seeing as how he tipped it in, the play still worked out. Who knew LaMarc had that kind of steez!

4:34
For all the developments in Greg Oden’s game, there’s this really visible deficiency: His hands. He can get up above his opponents, and he can get on the floor to scramble for a loose ball, but he bobbles the basketball a lot, because he just doesn’t have great hands, far as I can tell. Is there a surgery for that? Finger-extending surgery? Grip-tightening surgery? Because if his hands aren’t gonna grow, he might wind up like Ben Wallace. ‘Course, there are worse people for Greg to end up like.

2:00
I think it’s safe to say that Ramon Sessions is not living up to his own hype in Minnesota. Meanwhile, Jerryd Bayless looks completely NBA-ready despite his limited minutes. I’d take Bayless in a fight, too.

31.5
This Jawai fella looks like the real deal, doesn’t he? I mean, he looks like the big guy from Green Miler, but he’s more confident than that guy. He looks like a real basketball player.

FOURTH QUARTER
“Put your hands together for the Rip City Slammers!”

Couldn’t they have gotten some dudes who just dunk? Not on a trampoline, but guys who just really dunk? Granted, these guys are pretty good at what they do.

FOURTH QUARTER
Okay, fans, through three quarters, Jerryd Bayless has totaled seven minutes. He’s scored eight points. He’s still on the floor in the fourth, while Andre and Steve sit on the bench. And the Blazer B-team, if you will (Jerryd, Rudy, Martell, Travis, Joel) looks pretty dang okay out there!

9:16
I find myself rooting for these Timberwolves. They’re down 25. There’s no real chance of them winning this game (I’ll eat my hat).

7:59
Do women love Rudy Fernandez in an ironic way, or is that a real thing? He’s so goofy. Which I personally find a handsome trait, but I thought most girls liked the Vin Diesel type. At least that’s how I’ve been explaining the fact that no one ever hits on me. But if Rudy Fernandez is the high water mark for handsomeness, my self esteem should probably climb a bit. He’s got a crooked chin; I’ve got a crooked face. He’s got a lot of hair; I’ve got a lot of hair. He can’t speak English so well; I can’t speak English all that well. And my smile is TWICE as funny-looking as his.

7:15
I’m gonna start flashing three fingers a la Rudy every time I am successful at something. It will replace the D-Miles Head Bomp as “my thing.”

Travis Outlaw with an athletic move with no finish. Seems like I’ve said that before.

Antonio sounds like a preacher back there.

6:17
Nate’s taking his players out one at a time. It’s like a concert where a band walks offstage one at a time. First the singer, then the guitarist, then the bassist. Who’s Portland’s drummer? The drummer always leaves last. I think it’s Joel Przybilla.

5:41
Mark it: Dante Cunningham and Jerryd Bayless are both in the game. First time for everything.

Also, I’m terrified of the t-shirt slingshots. Scary shit.

Dante banks in a mid-range jumper. Was that on purpose? Nice assist for Bayless, nice shot for Dante.

Wayne Ellinton has the same blue-collar, nine-hour work day look that Jameer Nelson does.

4:27
Travis Outlaw (bass) goes out.

3:28
We’re all just waiting for it to be over. Blazers are up by 22. DJ O.G. One isn’t doing any cutting. Just playing some downtempo beats and maybe texting.

2:46
You pretty much know how it goes from here. Confetti and such. Seeya next time!

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This entry was posted on Sunday, November 8th, 2009 at 5:36 pm and is filed under Sports, Trail Blazers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.