Awe, Z-Bo. Doesn’t he look sad here? Though I was happy to see Portland trade troubled power forward Zach Randolph two years ago, I still feel a little bit of sadness whenever I see his smirking face. There’s no question that he’s got talent—career averages of 17 points and 8 rebounds a game, and that’s including the rookie year where he barely played—but when it comes to futility, nobody in the NBA can match this guy. Randolph is now a member of the Memphis Grizzlies, and if his track record holds up, the Grizz will be a better team when they get rid of him. But that’s what happens when you’ve been treated not once but three times for 50 cents to the dollar, including when the Blazers were so encouraged to get rid of him during the summer of Oden 2007 that they actually took on Steve Francis and promptly bought him out of his contract for $30 million. Yes, the team paid that much money just to dump one player.
Tonight Z-Bo’s back again as a member of the lowly Grizzlies, who sit at 5-10 before tonight’s tip-off. Still, the Grizz actually have a winning record (3-2) since they dumped the only player in the league who might be a bigger headache than Randolph, Allen “D League Answer” Iverson. The Blazers come in at 12-5, percentage points behind Denver for first place in the Northwest Division. In the team’s lone meeting this year, the Blazers won 93-79 at Memphis, led by Brandon Roy’s 20 points and Travis Outlaw’s posterizing of Rudy Gay.
12 minutes till tip and not many people in the stands. Post-Thanksgiving daze? Maybe everybody’s afraid that Rudy might pass the ball straight into their face. It’s also super empty on press row tonight. I might be able to fit in a nap during halftime.
FIRST QUARTER:
12:00 – O.J. Mayo has a bandaid on his neck. Can you say Thanksgiving hickey? Also, Z-Bo totally just waved to Nate McMillan before the opening tip.
11:39 – Whoah, Marc Gasol has a PRETTY turnaround jump shot. Put the ball through his legs before shooting, too. I think I underestimated Pau’s brother.
10:55 – Roy hits the Blazers first bucket, a three from the top of the key off a great pass from Oden. As Greg gets better, that’s something almost nobody is talking about. Dude can pass when he doesn’t turn it over in the post.
9:13 – Martell Webster hits a three and has 5 early points. When he gets his shot going early look out.
8:01 – Déjà vu? Webster hits another three, and Oden—playing the high/low on offense—already has two assists tonight. What’s his career high, four? Gasol scores again, and he looks great. Maybe I can trade for him in my fantasy league. 13-11 Blazers.
6:25 – Roy beats O.J. Mayo—clearly bothered by the fact that 20,000 people can see his hickey—to the offensive board and putback. Memphis is big and long but lazy, and the Blazers should be able to beat ‘em on the glass tonight.
4:19 – Steve Blake dribbles the ball off his leg, then hassles the ref for a good five seconds coming down the court. I like the fire, but come on. Is it Miller time yet?
2:50 – Mayo scores on a hesitation drive, and the Grizzlies lead 21-15. Yes, that’s a 10 nothing run. The Blazers look pretty bad right now—shooting just 40 percent from the floor, and they already have 4 turnovers. Right now they need a spark. Come on, Nate, give Jerryd Bayless a shot.
2:15 – Memphis rookie Hasheem Thabeet—the second pick in this year’s draft—is in for the first time. His stat line coming into the game: 2.3 points and 2.5 boards a game. And you thought Bill Simmons was rough on Oden.
1:29 – The Blazers have missed like 400 straight shots, and the Grizzlies are straight killing ‘em now. 27-15, this is a crazy run. Blazers really can’t buy a hoop. This is ugly.
0:6 – Wow, talk about a terrible quarter. So bad that Roy didn’t know that there was only six seconds left in the quarter and didn’t even get the final shot off in time. Yeesh. Yep, the Grizz finished on an 18-0 run and lead 29-15 at the end of the first quarter. The crowd is booing. Seriously where’s Bayless.
SECOND QUARTER:
11:30 – Wow, I take back what I said about Thabeet. He may be clueless on the offensive end, but he’s got three blocks and the Blazers aren’t getting anything by the hoop. Miller and Rudy miss, the Blazers are now shooting 24 percent. Grizz by 16.
10:04 – Miller ends the Blazers cold streak—the temperature inside the Rose Garden is -2 degrees—with a layin and foul. And then misses the free throw. Mayo hits a three, and the Blazers are down by 18. Bayless checking in, maybe he’ll have some energy.
8:55 – Stat line so far for the Blazers: 7-28 (25 percent) from the floor, 0 fast break points, 0 free throws, just 6 points in the paint, 5 turnovers. Mayo’s got 11 points on 5-5 shooting for the Grizz. Clearly, he’s not affected by the hickey or my teasing of him.
8:46 – Jamal Tinsley—fresh off a stint in celebrity rehab—hits a three to give the Grizz a 21 point led. Then hits a floater in the lane. This is the easily the worst I’ve seen the Blazers play in two years. Grizz up 40-17.
7:05 – I hesitate to type this, but it would be a diservice to all my readers. The Blazers are 1-18 from the field. That’s not a typo. Nothing is working and now they can’t get a call. I’m pretty sure Bayless was just fouled, and that’s not home court bias.
5:28 – LaMarcus Aldridge hits the Blazers first free throw, 19 minutes into the game.
4:29 – When Aldridge runs the court, the Blazers are such a better team. And yep, that’s their first fast break basket and dunk of the game. A little run by the Blazers cuts the Grizzlies lead to 20. Can we just cut straight to the second half?
3:42 – You know it’s bad when Hamed Haddadi (who?) just did the Darius Miles head-bop to Z-Bo on the Grizzlies bench. Mayo scores again, Blake’s three hits the side of the backboard, and the Grizz lead 55-30.
2:27 – We’re close to the Grizzlies doubling the Blazers score. Without Roy’s 13 points this game would already be over.
1:31 – The Blazers look like they just don’t care right now. Bad games happen during the grueling 82 game NBA season. But a performance like this in front of the home crowd is just pathetic. Dive for loose balls! Take it to the hoop! This team looks like they think they’re in Utah already.
0:12 – Webster hits a three, which cuts the lead down a little bit. This game isn’t quiet out of reach yet, but it’s going to take a huge second half for the Blazers to get the win. 61-39 at half, and I don’t even need to tell you who’s ahead.
THIRD QUARTER:
11:42 – Aldridge starts off the second half missing a tough turnaround jumper. Wait, I thought Z-Bo couldn’t play any defense? He looks like a man on a mission tonight. A mission that probably ends with a trip cruising up Broadway at 90 miles per hour, but still, a mission.
10:26 – Steve Blake’s only contribution in the first half? 2 turnovers and 1 foul. Yep, he laid a goose egg. I know he’s McMillan’s boy or whatever but when do you give Miller or Bayless another shot? When Blake’s bad, he’s real bad.
10:06 – Rudy Gay looks like George Gervin tonight. Martell’s three cuts the Grizzlies lead to just 20 points, and lookie, Blake got an assist! Finnnnallllyyyy.
8:11 – Oden’s line tonight: 5 points, 4 boards, 3 fouls. His counterpart, Pau Marc Gasol? 15 points, 10 boards, 2 fouls. I guess Oden still has a ways to go.
7:18 – Oden’s put-back dunk is probably the easiest two he’ll ever score in the league. Nobody boxed him out, especially not Gasol, who got distracted flirting with Rebecca Haarlow on the sideline. Thata girl! 70-49 Grizzlies, but the Blazers are making some noise.
5:48 – Steve Blake grabbed a rebound! But the Blazers still look flat and lifeless, and Roy’s taking a lot of bad shots.
2:52 – The Blazers vaunted bench has still yet to show up tonight. Right now its got two points on 1-11 shooting from the floor. Throw in Blake and everyone on the team outside of Roy/LA/Oden/Webster is 1-14.
2:32 – Andre Miller’s jump shot looks uglier than ever tonight. Neither team has scored in a few minutes, Grizz still up 18 points.
0:7 – Yep, Miller’s jumper might be the worst in the league. But he can still get to the rim, something the Blazers haven’t done at all tonight. 6 straight Blazers points and this is suddenly (almost) a game. Grizzlies up 77-63 going into the fourth.
FOURTH QUARTER:
10:47 – Thabeet—averaging a whooping 2.3 points per game—scores four straight to put the Grizz back up by 19. Miller responds by hitting the first three pointer of his career (okay, that’s a joke. Sorta.) Blazers still showing a pulse.
9:37 – Thabeet scores again, but this time it’s after a GREAT pass from Gasol. This guy can totally play. Rudy scores on the other end, and after two hours we finally have a competitive basketball game. Blazers still down by 13, though.
8:47 – Whoa, free concert from Jonny Diaz after the game! Jonny who? I write about music for a living and I’ve never heard of this guy. Welp, there goes my Friday night.
8:28 – Remember just a few minutes ago when I said the Blazer bench only had 2 points? Rudy’s got 4 in the quarter, and Miller’s got 8. You know who else has 8 points in the quarter? THA-BEET. Pretty sure that’s his career high, and it’s come in just over 4 minutes. Don’t take that shit, Greg.
6:53 – Z-Bo hits two jumpers in a row, both directly in front of McMillan. You know that’s gotta make him happy. Every time the Blazers get the lead close to 10, the Grizz hit a few shots.
6:15 – I hate to say it, but Z-Bo is totally outplaying LaMarcus tonight. And Mayo looks better than Roy. What kind of bizarro Black Friday is this?
5:02 – Somehow, this is still a game. Webster scores five straight points, and he’s the one guy who’s really showed up tonight: 22 points on 8/11 shooting. Grizzlies lead 93-82. The crowd is great, though, and getting really pumped at Belushi’s speech in Animal House.
4:42 – Roy with a breakaway dunk, and the lead is under 10 for the first time since midway through the first quarter. Whew.
4:08 – LaMarcus hits a three! Jeez, the Blazers could have used this earlier. Mayo silences the crowd with a gorgeous little running jump shot, and the lead’s back to 10.
3:18 – Jamal Tinsley. Where did this guy come from? Back in the league for like a week and killing the Blazers. Oden’s at the line. Will he choke again?
3:05 – Oden hits the pair and the lead’s down to 8. I haven’t heard the crowd this loud since the playoffs last April.
2:15 – Who’s guarding Z-Bo? Seriously, the one guy you DON’T leave open on the Grizzlies is their leading scorer tonight. Memphis still up 10, and barring a miracle it looks like they’ll get a huge road win.
1:26 – McMillan decides to go small with Aldridge at center and Webster at power forward. But again, the Blazers—who were shooting a league best 81 percent from the line before Wednesday’s game against the Nets—keep on missing FTs late. Miller hits one of two, Grizz lead 100-91.
0:51 – Little used rookie Sam Young just put the game away with his first basket. It’s been that kind of night for the Blazers. Tough loss, and now they have to travel to Utah for the second part of a back-to-back tomorrow.
0:44 – Webster bobbles the ball off the in bounds pass and misses a contested three. Not the kind of look you want coming out of a timeout. The Blazers put up a bit of a fight in the fourth, but this game was over in the second quarter. Can’t believe I’m typing this in a contest against the Grizzlies, but this game really shows that you have to bring it every night. Even though the Blazers are still a solid 12-6, this team has a bunch of problems brewing. This is a game the team would have won last year. I’m out, but one either me or WW cover star Casey Jarman will be here next Tuesday against the Heat. Sorry guys, I’m heading to section 111 to swoon over Jonny Diaz.
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Michael, is it me or is there a blunt in ZBo’s hand in the above picture?!?! Did you stop blogging because the game is THAT bad!?
-IMAC