Bill Simmons may not be bigger than the Beatles. But for pro basketball fans, he’s pretty damn close.

The ESPN sportswriter was at the Borders Bookstore in Beaverton on Thursday night to sign copies of The Book of Basketball, his tome on pro hoops. The suburban parking lot was full 45 minutes beforehand, and people were literally sprinting through the parking lot into the bookstore after they got off the bus.

Simmons appeared shortly before 7 pm wearing a black hoodie and a shirt featuring the mug of Jeff Bebe, lead signer of the fictional band Stillwater from the movie Almost Famous, which Simmons has praised as his favorite flick of the past decade. Simmons talked with the crowd for a few minutes prior to the signing and delivered the same pop culture-savvy sports commentary that’s made him so popular. Some of the juicier nuggets:

-Simmons attended the Trail Blazers’ game versus Detroit on Wednesday . He polled the Borders crowd about the Blazers’ three-guard system. Simmons felt the Blazers should play the best five regardless of their position.
-He also praised Portland for being the only city in the NBA that doesn’t play hip hop music during the team introductions. “Ballroom Blitz?” he asked. “Do they do that for every game?”
-He apologized for low-balling the Blazers in his season predictions, where he forecast the team would finish 41-41 when many predict they’ll win more than 50 games. “There’s a team every year [that underperforms],” Simmons said. “It was between Portland and New Orleans.”
-All baby-toting fans were encouraged to cut in front of the line for an autograph. “I’ve been there, I know what that’s like,” he said.

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Oregon football appears to be proof that winning doesn’t breed humility. A recent fan survey by Sports Illustrated ranks Pacific-10 Conference schools top-to-bottom in several categories relating to the fan experience. The Ducks claimed the top spot in only one category, the dubious “rudest fans” category.

It’s a hard result to dispute, considering the results: 26.2 percent of those surveyed chose Oregon fans over those at the other nine conference schools. The number is more than double the number of votes for second-place  USC, which was named by 12.9 percent. The fan bases most disgusted by the Ducks crowd were Washington (whose fans voted for Oregon 82.7 percent of the time), Oregon State (66.7) and Washington State (58.5).

The Ducks also finished, predictably, last in the “most polite fans” survey, being acknowledged by just 2.6 of the fans surveyed.

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Not much of a surprise after reading this week’s story on the desultory football goings-on at PSU, but coach Jerry Glanville’s departure from PSU became official today after three years of losing records.

The Vikings say they hope to find a replacement by early December.

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Last month, I posted a piece about whether Major League Soccer would ever consider switching its current March-though-October regular season schedule to an August-through-May schedule.

Last night, MLS Commissioner Don Garber and Portland Timbers/Beavers owner Merritt Paulson were interviewed separately on 95.5 The Game’s “Strong At Night” and the subject of scheduling came up during this interview with Garber.

The commissioner was asked about MLS playoff games now being played in November and whether it would make sense to re-jigger the regular season so that playoff games could be played earlier in the calendar and thus be less likely to face crappy weather.

The commissioner responded that shortening the season is unlikely. He said that in fact he gets “hammered everywhere I go” about re-configuring the season in the other direction so that the MLS schedule adopts the “international calendar” and is playing in February in Toronto. Garber didn’t say MLS would ever adopt a schedule that included the winter, but said the league is ”probably more likely moving” toward lengthening the season than shortening it.

Hang on to your scarves.

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The University of Oregon announced this morning that LeGarrette Blount will be reinstated for this Saturday’s game against Arizona State University.

As I’ve opined before, I think this is the right —albeit belated— move for coach Chip Kelly to make since the original season-long punishment was too harsh. And it also makes sense to bring Blount back for a home game before what will likely be an empathetic Autzen Stadium crowd rather than at last Saturday’s road game at Stanford.

Given how well freshman LaMichael James has carried the ball in Blount’s absence (and assuming James wasn’t seriously hurt when he fell to the turf in the fourth quarter of the Stanford game after dropping a pass), it’s hard to imagine Blount will get a lot of carries against the Sun Devils. But Blount will have fresh legs after not taking any game pounding, so I’m expecting him to be in the rotation. And yes, I’m damn curious to see how he does.

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Ah, another day, another game. I’m back as your host after a bout with back strain and a trip to the Oregon coast (still beautiful, still miserable), ready for what promises to be a thrilling game between the Portland Trail Blazers and the Minnesota Timberwolves. You may think I’m being sarcastic. I’m not. While the Blazers have enough talent to crush these guys even after a few plates full of Izzy’s pizza, they tend to play down to the competition. So expect this game to go down to the wire. Or will it be the ‘Zers first real throttling of an opponent on home court? Or on any court? Time will tell.

The pre-game music is a mix of bad rap, ’70s space-funk and L.L. Cool Jay courtesy of D.J. OG One, a regular figure here in the arena as of late. The building is a ghost town with 20 minutes left, but that’s pretty normal—why would anyone want to sit down pre-game when they’re about to sit for two and a half hours?—I’m sure it’ll be “a sellout crowd” regardless of how many season ticket holders decide to stay home and watch it on T.V..

Did you know that Greg Oden has something to do with this Manga?

Which led to this weird image:

First thing’s first: Plenty of footage of Blazer slam dunks, black and white practice footage, soft-focus remembrances of seasons past, screaming fans reacting to buzzer-beaters, and of course the mythical Greg Oden dunk footage. If only we saw a bit more of that. The fans have begun to pack in, i’ts looking pretty full now. Let’s play ball, as they never say in basketball…

FIRST QUARTER:
I’m sure this has been reported elsewhere, but Nate’s opting to keep the three-guard lineup intact this evening, as he did on Friday against San Antonio. Minnesota doesn’t have the size or talent to make that a bad idea, but this is a team that runs, so we’ll see how Portland matches up.

By the by, there is really no reason for a casual basketball fan to watch the T-Wolves play right now. Al Jefferson is the only star on the team, and he’s been (knock on wood here for the ‘Zers faithful) pretty bad thus far—at least compared to his stellar output from when he was healthy last year. Here comes the tip… Portland takes it.

10:49
Two possessions come and go for each club and the score is still zip-zip. But Ryan Gomes nails a mid-range jumper and Steve Blake drops a three on ‘em to make it 3-2 ‘Zers. Al Jeff drops one of his pretty hooks from about six feet out. Boy is that pretty. Maybe I was wrong about his health. Maybe he’ll go big tonight.

Despite the fact that it has filled up pretty well in here, I can hear every word the radio guys say. Not a real excited crowd. Oleksiy is the first dude on court to dunk, but Greg Oden gallops down the lane a few possessions later for a two-handed throwdown of his own. And wow, he doesn’t swing his feet out this time! Sooner or later he’s gonna get T’d up for that.

7:28
The Blazers get out on the break, with Andre Miller running hard to the hole. It’s really nice to see the Blazers’ transition game taking of. They looked good in that department when they opened the season, but slacked on it and hadn’t got back into the habit of bolting up court until the San Antonio game. If the team can play in the paint the way MacMillan likes and bust out on the fast break every now and again, too, it seems to me this Blazer team would have something real special going on. At 6:23, they prove they can play lockdown D…on the Timberwolves. From now on, just add “on/against the Timberwolves” to my every sweeping generalization about this ball club.

5:15
Andre Miller is one cool customer. He’s off to a very nice first quarter this evening in his second straight start.

3:26
Ball movement is real nice thus far in this game. That’s the plus. The minus is that Brandon Roy is only at 2 points and he’s leaving the game. Is he going to be happy playing in a system that diminishes his star power? The media-savvy answer would be “So long as the team is winning, I’m happy,” but it’s hard to imagine the advertising campaign hasn’t gone to his head a little bit. After all, he’s BRANDON ROY.

2:27
Outlaw and (drumroll) Bayless are set to check in, but the beleaguered Wolves call a timeout. Knowing Nate, he’ll change his mind about Bayless when the timeout is over.

Nope! J-Bayl plays and he takes a shot to the chin. Ouch. Messing with his jaw for a couple minutes afterward.

0.5
I’d like to see the one-on-one game between Jerryd Bayless and the Wolves’ Aussie bigman rookie, Nathan Jawai. Neither likes to pass, both are pretty beastly. Both spend most of their time on the bench.

33 – 24 ‘Zers at the end of one. That’s about right where it should be. A 36-point blowout if they stay on this pace (which, of course, they will not).

SECOND QUARTER
Oh, Todd!

10:45
A very nice Rudy-to-Bayless alley-oop there. Really nice to see Jerryd getting some minutes, and to see the Blazers playing so unselfishly and scrappy. Lots to like. Fun stuff.

9:21
Jerryd sits down between Brandon Roy and LaMarcus Aldridge on the bench, and both give him some friendly joshing. J-Bayl is all smiles, which are more becoming on him than the usual scowl.

Dunk-a-thon!

41-26 Blazers. Al Jefferson’s about to go to the line, but the big guy was down on his back rubbing his knee a moment ago. Please don’t get hurt, Al, you’re my only fantasy basketball hope!

8:16
Does Rebecca Harlowe always get that front-row seat? So unfair. Want her job. Gotta lose weight.

7:16
I liked Jerryd Bayless’ dunk so much I started thinking “why doesn’t Steve Blake ever dunk the ball?” Here’s why:

It appears as if he just forgot for a moment that he wasn’t tall or athletic enough to dunk. But how could that possibly happen? How could anyone who can’t dunk mistake themselves for someone who can? Maybe he did it in practice once, but the birght lights took away his leaping ability? Maybe he had a dream? Still, I’ve had dunk dreams (you better believe it) without mistaking them for reality. On a good day I can get my ring finger caught in the hoop.

6:08
Just moments ago, Greg Oden completely beat Al Jefferson with a nice swiveling post move, and sorta threw the ball down into the basket from above. It’s singe-coverage for Greg tonight, so I think we’d all like to see a bit more of that. On the other end, Al Jeff looks panicky while going up against Big Ohio. This is not the Al Jefferson I fell in love with two seasons ago. I don’t even know if I’m still in love with him. That’s something I’m going to have to really think about.

Sorry, on a bit of a YouTube kick now. I remember watching this on TNT when I was in New York. I was so depressed.

5:35
You think Blaze ever eats a kid when no one’s paying attention? I’ve heard stories…

4:05
51-38 Blazers. LaMarcus just took quite a spill, but he’s alright. It would look like a sweet breakdancing move if you rewound and fast-forwarded it again and again.

3:12
Every time I see LaMarcus I think of his ad for OHSU. “It’s my heart we’re talking about, I need someone I can put my trust in,” or whatever. Pretty crazy that you can have a heart murmur thing and then get it “all cleared up.” Pretty sure if I had any sort of heart condition I’m broke enough that I’d just die. Unless we all have healthcare now. Do we all have healthcare now? No, I didn’t think so.

1:27
It’s an 18-point lead for the Blazers (right on track for that blowout thus far), and Brandon Roy only has two points. Whaaaa?

HALFTIME
Blazers up 62 – 45. See you in a bit.

THIRD QUARTER

8:09
Apparently the line to get a polish dog is longer than it was last year. Or it moves slower. Or something. Because I just missed a chunk of the game. But here are my impressions upon returning:

*Zenners polish dogs have a sorta chunky texture I’m not sure I can get used to.
*The sauerkraut is not of the highest quality.
*The guy that sold it to me wouldn’t refill my water cup, even though there was a water dispenser in his soda machine. What up with that? We were waiting on a dog!

6:17
A crazy no-look pass from LaMarcus Aldridge to Andre Miller is punctuated by a timeout from Minnesota. You might not see it on the Sportscenter, because Miller missed the resulting layup. But seeing as how he tipped it in, the play still worked out. Who knew LaMarc had that kind of steez!

4:34
For all the developments in Greg Oden’s game, there’s this really visible deficiency: His hands. He can get up above his opponents, and he can get on the floor to scramble for a loose ball, but he bobbles the basketball a lot, because he just doesn’t have great hands, far as I can tell. Is there a surgery for that? Finger-extending surgery? Grip-tightening surgery? Because if his hands aren’t gonna grow, he might wind up like Ben Wallace. ‘Course, there are worse people for Greg to end up like.

2:00
I think it’s safe to say that Ramon Sessions is not living up to his own hype in Minnesota. Meanwhile, Jerryd Bayless looks completely NBA-ready despite his limited minutes. I’d take Bayless in a fight, too.

31.5
This Jawai fella looks like the real deal, doesn’t he? I mean, he looks like the big guy from Green Miler, but he’s more confident than that guy. He looks like a real basketball player.

FOURTH QUARTER
“Put your hands together for the Rip City Slammers!”

Couldn’t they have gotten some dudes who just dunk? Not on a trampoline, but guys who just really dunk? Granted, these guys are pretty good at what they do.

FOURTH QUARTER
Okay, fans, through three quarters, Jerryd Bayless has totaled seven minutes. He’s scored eight points. He’s still on the floor in the fourth, while Andre and Steve sit on the bench. And the Blazer B-team, if you will (Jerryd, Rudy, Martell, Travis, Joel) looks pretty dang okay out there!

9:16
I find myself rooting for these Timberwolves. They’re down 25. There’s no real chance of them winning this game (I’ll eat my hat).

7:59
Do women love Rudy Fernandez in an ironic way, or is that a real thing? He’s so goofy. Which I personally find a handsome trait, but I thought most girls liked the Vin Diesel type. At least that’s how I’ve been explaining the fact that no one ever hits on me. But if Rudy Fernandez is the high water mark for handsomeness, my self esteem should probably climb a bit. He’s got a crooked chin; I’ve got a crooked face. He’s got a lot of hair; I’ve got a lot of hair. He can’t speak English so well; I can’t speak English all that well. And my smile is TWICE as funny-looking as his.

7:15
I’m gonna start flashing three fingers a la Rudy every time I am successful at something. It will replace the D-Miles Head Bomp as “my thing.”

Travis Outlaw with an athletic move with no finish. Seems like I’ve said that before.

Antonio sounds like a preacher back there.

6:17
Nate’s taking his players out one at a time. It’s like a concert where a band walks offstage one at a time. First the singer, then the guitarist, then the bassist. Who’s Portland’s drummer? The drummer always leaves last. I think it’s Joel Przybilla.

5:41
Mark it: Dante Cunningham and Jerryd Bayless are both in the game. First time for everything.

Also, I’m terrified of the t-shirt slingshots. Scary shit.

Dante banks in a mid-range jumper. Was that on purpose? Nice assist for Bayless, nice shot for Dante.

Wayne Ellinton has the same blue-collar, nine-hour work day look that Jameer Nelson does.

4:27
Travis Outlaw (bass) goes out.

3:28
We’re all just waiting for it to be over. Blazers are up by 22. DJ O.G. One isn’t doing any cutting. Just playing some downtempo beats and maybe texting.

2:46
You pretty much know how it goes from here. Confetti and such. Seeya next time!

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Glanville, a former NFL coach known for his colorful quips, came to PSU in 2007 with great fanfare and hopes that he could lift PSU to great gains on the field and in the stands with high attendance. Nobody expected PSU to compete with Oregon and OSU. But certainly Vikings fans expected better than a 2-8 record heading into the season finale against Idaho State.

Amid a deluge of rain that drenched an announced crowd of 5,690 (the actual crowd was much smaller) at PGE Park, I went into the stands Saturday to ask fans in the tiny but loud crowd to ask if they think Glanville should get more time to right the program or should be canned. Here’s a sampling:

“This year hasn’t gone too well, but they’re a young team. If they can’t improve next year, he should probably go. But he should still get one more season.” – Ted Stephens, Portland

“He should have been fired when he fired [offensive coordinator]  “Mouse” Davis. We used to have a good offense, and now we can’t score jack.” – Helen Brown, Portland

“Coaches should get four years to get their own players in the system. Anything less, and you’re not giving them a fair chance.” – Roy Ellis, Portland.

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It’s certainly not unprecedented. The Suns often start three smaller players, and so do the Knicks. But those teams love to push the pace, get up the floor, and take quick shots. The Blazers have been outscored 62-19 on fast breaks this year. You can do the math. That’s less than four points per game, or two baskets. TWO BASKETS.

Sorry for the use of ALL CAPS, but I’m pretty intrigued by what this lineup can do. Offensively, I’d guess that Miler will play the point and Blake will do the same thing he always does: stand behind the three point line and wait until his defender cheats off him to double Roy. Defensively I’m not so sure. Tony Parker is probably the fastest (and Frenchest) point guard in the league, and those pesky small guards always give the Blazers a lot of trouble.

But the main problem I have is that it doesn’t seem to solve the Blazers biggest problem: who starts at point guard. Tonight’s lineup is essentially a cop out—instead of choosing between Miller and Blake, why not start them both? I’ve been preaching the virtues of Andre Miller since the first preseason game (look it up, peeps) but everybody knows that Nate McMillan is basically in love with Steve Blake. I like Blake—he’s a good-to-great shooter, and he rarely makes mistakes—but he’s just so, I dunno, mediocre. If you had to rank all 400 or so players in the NBA he’d probably fit in nicely at #200. But he’s basically a glorified YMCA player, and that’s not how teams win championships. Love him off the bench, but Miller’s a better player. Two other big things going into this one.

1). The other word from the locker room is that Jerryd Bayless is going to be the first guard off the bench. You have no idea how excited I am.

2). Will the Blazers back off Manu Ginobili? I mean, he got rabies shots this week. That’s what happens when you kill a bat with your bare hands.

Okay, one more quick pre-game note. The “concert violinist” that just played the National Anthem is wearing a baby blue Argentina shirt. I think he’s actually Manu’s brother. This can’t be a good sign.

FIRST QUARTER:

So the Blazers announcer just introduced Andre Miller—who stands all of 6′2—as a forward. So maybe we’re not playing three guards! Good try, Nate. Also the Blazers are debuting new “throwback” jerseys tonight, even though the team’s never worn them before. Instead of saying Portland or Trail Blazers across the front, it says “Rip City.” That’s a slogan, not a nickname. Okay enough bitching. Guess I had too much coffee today.

11:24 – Steve Blake hits a three off a nice pass from Miller in, you guessed it, transition. I did this on purpose, Blakey. Let me mean words inspire you.

10:28 – Roy hits a three after missing one a few seconds ago. And the team is running. In the half court they better go to Oden a little bit, because he’s being guarded by the NBA’s only ginger starting center, Matt Bonner. Oh man his last name is almost really funny.

9:12 – Less than three minutes into the game and Manu is in for Richard Jefferson. Popovich really must have a lot of faith in Keith Bogans.

8:50 – Oden picks up his first foul, as Tim Duncan just schooled him on the low block. Hey, guess who’s leading the league in fouls? I’ll just say it’s not Kevin Durant, if you get my drift.

8:27 – Oden, who’s also reading my blog in his telepathically from the court, squares Duncan up and hits a 12 foot jump shot. Man if he ever learns to do this with any regularity he could be a best. Of course could is the main word. He just picked up his second foul, which is actually a little big of a star call. Oden just doesn’t get any respect from the refs yet. You know how he does that? Not missing layups.

6:37 – Roy’s looking great right now. The big thing with this whole PG debate is the fact that Roy likes having the ball in his hands, as does Dre Miller. But he could get so many easy buckets if they learn to play together. Blazers up 14-10, shooting 50 percent so far.

5:58 – The guys next to me and Ezra on press row are watching the Boise St. game. I may wear tight pants, but at least I pay attention to the game I’m at. Get me a permanent sports writing job, stat.

5:54 – I think Spurs coach Greg Popovich is trying to make Keith Bogans into the new Bruce Bowen. He’s grabbing, yanking, kicking, basically mauling Brandon Roy. Good matchup on the wing.

5:07 – DeJuan Blair just pulled down his first board. He was the guy I wanted the Blazers to draft this year, and so far he’s backing up the hype, almost averaging a double double off the bench for the Spurs. I’ll be watching him all night.

4:34 – Make that two rebounds for Blair, in less than a minute. Sheesh.

4:17 – Blazers fast break alert! LA with the dunk on a great outlet pass from Miller. I’m sitting in front of Antonio Harvey, and all he can talk about is Miller’s long arms. Hey, as long as long arms get the Blazers a few fast break buckets and I’m happy. 16-11, team Rip City.

2:55 – Rudy’s in, and he just threw a typically beautiful Spanish-style pass (el no look) to Aldrigde, who dumped it to Pryzbilla, who…blew the layup. If only the Blazers centers could finish these easy opportunities, then maybe the rest of the guys wouldn’t want to jack long rang jumpers all night long.

2:40 – The Blazers are still running, or at least trying to. I love it. McMillan loves playing a controlled, plodding game where he can coach and control the paint, but this Blazers team just has too many athletes not to get out a bit. Also of note: Miller’s the only starting guard left in the game. But all three have played well so far.

1:51 – NATE MCMILLAN IS READING MY MIND. he just put in JayBay to guard George Hill, San Antonio’s speedy backup guard. So excited to see Bayless kill someone on the court. His first offensive play leads to a Outlaw layup. The next possesion he doesn’t pass the ball, and instead puts his head down and barrels to the hoop. Love this guy, he’s so fearless. 24-13 Blazers.

0:41 – JayBay just commits his first turnover of the season. Hasn’t he learned anything from Sergio? Oh wait…

0:14 – Shit I love Bayless. Takes it straight to the rim again for an and 1. Sorry about the curse but I can’t get enough of Bayless. He could be the spark the team needs.

0:01 – Bayless with the steal, out to Rudy for the three at the buzzer…it just rims off but Webster comes flying out of nowhere for a sick dunk. Wow, the Blazers look great. 29-14 at the end of one. By far the best quarter of the year.

SECOND QUARTER:

8:20 – Okay, we’re back up. My computer just died in the middle of screaming at Nate McMillan for taking Bayless out after he scored 5 points in 4 minutes and did a great job of changing the tempo. Just so you know, I’m also Tweeting during the game, so if this cuts out, go here. We’re so web 3.0 at WW.

8:06 – McMillan’s going with the lineup that closed a lot of games last year: Blake and Roy in the backcourt, Outlaw, LA, and the Thrilla up front. The Blazers are still playing good D but are down to shooting just 41 percent. Too many jump shots! Still up by 12, though.

6:59 – Blazers going small with the three guards again. Roy’s shot looks off again after a blistering start.

6:08 – Aldridge has been really quiet tonight, but he finally gets an inside bucket and takes advantage of Michael Finley trying to guard him in the post. That has to be a bad matchup. Either that or Popovich is really that crazy. I mean he did let Manu kill the bat and then kept him in the game.

Time outs give me the opportunity to impress you with stats like this: 10 Blazers played in the first quarter, and eight of them scored. That’s gotta be a high during the McMillan era.

5:05 – Ugh, the Blazers are getting killed on the offensive boards. Richard Jefferson just beat four Blazers to the ball. Gotta love the three guard lineup.

3:52 – Oden’s finally back in, which means that he’ll probably wind up playing more in the half than Bayless. But it was getting close. Never thought I’d never see that.

3:30 – Ya know, Oden’s got a nice little jump hook. I’ll give him that. Until he starts scoring more than six points a game, I’m still going to call it “little.” But he’s made two nice moves tonight, and both against Tim Duncan.

3:03 – Jefferson’s been a savior for the Spurs tonight. They’re shooting a dreadful 34 percent from the field but Jefferson’s got 11 points, 4 boards, and a ton of trips to the line. Great offseason pickup for them. Blazers lead 43-31.

2:33 – Manu’s whistled for traveling, but I can’t tell if it’s a good call or not. I’m too busy staring at his bald spot. Dang, it puts Sheed’s to shame. I bet my brother can see it from the 300 level.

1:46 – Oden hits another jump hook, this one from a little farther out. This is the best I’ve seen him play on offense since that game last year (it was at Golden State, right?) where he scored over 20.

1:31 – Juwan Howard replaces Oden for the final 90 seconds, which means 11 Blazers have played in the first half. Come on, Nate, I know you wanna sub Dante Cunningham in.

0:15 – Bogans really is doing a good Bruce Bowen impersonation. His stat line so far? 0 points, 1 assist, 2 fouls. He’s even got the same shaved head. Now he just needs to open a spa in SA with his wife.

0:02 – Hey guys, so guess what play Nate runs as the Blazers have the ball for one last shot in the half? Yep, the ol’ give it to Roy and let him go 1-5 routine. Roy hits the shot, but it’s so predictable. That’s not going to cut it in the playoffs. All harshness aside, the Blazers have looked great in the first half. Definitely the best ball they’ve played this season. 51-40 lead at half.

THIRD QUARTER:

11:06 – Giner alert! Matt Bonner just got an offensive board and scored inside. Oden looks lost trying to follow him around the perimeter.

10:39 – So Tony Parker’s out for the rest of the game with a sprained ankle, which means we’re going to see a lot of George Hill. He’s a good young player, but no Parker.

9:46 – Blake matches Bogans three with one of his own. Little Stevey (oh wait, that’s someone else) is looking tough tonight. Hey, if he shoots the ball as well the rest of the year as he is tonight, then I pledge to stop with the jokes. But I’m just so on tonight.

8:48 – Did the refs really just call an off-the-ball foul on George Hill? Come on, guys, that’s a little ridiculous. I’m not being a homer here, just a journalist calling it like it is.

7:30 – The Blazers, knowing that gingers are weak at post defensive, are going at Matt Bonner on almost every possession. Aldrigde hits two free throws, and the Blazers are up 60-47. Think that’s the biggest lead of the night.

6:56 – Actually they’re just going inside, period. Oden’s really impressing me tonight. He just backed down probably the greatest power forward of all time, and he really looks like he wants it on offense. He’s calling for the ball. Hell, he looks animated out there, like he really wants to make it after a shitty year. Now read that last sentence in the Willy Vlautin voice. Did you see what I just did?

6:15 – Interesting development from this whole three guard experiment: Brandon Roy has stopped passing the ball. Okay, that’s not entirely true, but he doesn’t have an assist yet. It’s nice to see him without the ball in his hands every time down the floor, though. It’ll add years to his career.

5:48 – With Tony Parker out, the Blazers have more point guards on the floor than the Spurs have in uniform.

5:15 – Oh uh. Now Miller’s limping with what looks like a sprained ankle. Just not a good night for point guards. Dre’s not going to the locker room, so he’ll probably be okay.

3:59 – Maybe Blake did learn something from Sergio. That lob was, dare I say it, Sergio-esque. Again Roy gets a bucket away from the ball and it’s gotta feel good.

3:17 – Martell and Rudy are both in, which means Blake is actually running the point for the first time tonight. Or wait, maybe the second time. McMillan’s made the same subs in the first and third quarter, taking Roy out with like four minutes left.

2:40 – The crowd’s much louder then during the opening night. Kinda weird, considering it was the first regular season game in this building since April. Or maybe it’s just ’cause it’s Friday night. Blazers up 68-54 after a sick Aldridge dunk.

2:38 – Bayless watch is officially starting. If Nate’s gonna play him again tonight, it’s either now or a few minutes at the start of the fourth. He looks like he’s in a daze on the bench, dreaming of putting up 50 on the Thunder.

1:14 – Bayless is back in, if only for a minute. That sounds like a Morrissey song title, huh?

0:19 – Eik, that’s an over and back. This second unit isn’t looking good right now. Also, I just realized that Greg Oden looks A LOT like Michael Finley. Only Oden’s five years older 15 years younger. Blazers up 68-58 at the end of the third.

FOURTH QUARTER:

11:58 – Despite starting three guards, the Blazers only have 8 assists in the first 36 minutes. Weird.

11:42 – Roger Mason Jr. with a sweet jump shot. Wait, the announcer didn’t say “Jr.” Did that change in the offseason? Is that even possible?

11:05 – Just like I predicted, Bayless only played the final 1:13 of the quarter. Miller, Roy and LA all check back in as the Spurs cut the lead down to eight.

10:34 – George Hill’s got four fouls, which raises an interesting question: who do the Spurs play at the point if he fouls out? Manu? Theo Ratliff?

10:22 – Man, Antonio McDyess is a baller. Plain and simple. I’ve always liked him, and even at 30-something years old he can still play. Oden’s backing off and he’s killing him with his smooth jump shot.

8:51 – Oden’s quietly having a pretty good night. He’s got 10 points, 5 boards, and 2 blocks in like 16 minutes.

8:05 – Nate’s going with the starting lineup with just over eight minutes left, which doesn’t exactly show any confidence in the bench. Roy’s dribble drive is sweet, though, the the leads back over double digits.

7:24 – Steve Blake just passed it to Bruce Bowen, err, Keith Bogans. So much for that lead. Two quick Spurs buckets and the Blazers lead is down to 75-68. You know who could give this team some much needed energy right now? BAY-LESS.

6:39 – That’s the play you run out of a timeout? The Blazers need something better than a last second Miller three point attempt. The Spurs deserve some credit. That was a great double on Oden, he barely had time to react.

5:52 – 24 second violation. Two straight Miller three point “attempts.” If you can even call his set shot that. Jeezus, change the lineup! This isn’t working.

5:38 – Ginobili’s two free throws cut the Blazers lead to a paltry three points. Roy hits a tough jumper, but this offense is embarrassing. Outlaw’s in for Miller, which might help. Not enough shooting on the floor for Roy to go 1 on 5.

4:15 – Roy’s starting to take this game over. As Ginobili gambles on defensive, Roy drives past him, squares up for a 15 footer—and then drops a beautiful lob to Oden for an easy layup. That’s better. Now the crowd is doing “YMCA,” this really must be throwback night. I feel like I’m at Joel Przybilla’s bar mitzvah or something.

3:57 – Roger Mason hits a three, and all the air is let out of the arena. It got real quiet real quick. Blazers up 80-75.

2:57 – Ducan’s throwing the hammer down asking for a continuation call, but the refs aren’t falling for it. Oh wait they gave it to him? I don’t know about that.

2:39 – Steve Blake for three! I take back every mean word I’ve said about him. Almost. That pass earlier in the quarter is still inexcusable.

2:18 – Whoah, Oden really is talking/barking on the court. He looks MAD. Seriously I want to see him get a technical, or just deck Ginobili. I bet he has so much pent up anger inside of him. Channel your inner Bayless, son!

2:15 – Now the free throws…he hits ‘em both!

2:00 – Dang, Richard Jefferson just dunked his way to a Sportscenter top play. That was ridiculous. This game is getting super intense, it’s hard to blog and watch at the same time.

1:47 – The thing about this three guard lineup? IT CAN’T DEFEND QUICK PLAYERS. Ginobili slices through the lane for a three point play, cutting the Blazers lead to 87-82. McMillan calls a timeout, probably getting ready to draw up a great play that involves Brandon Roy and nobody else. It’s called isolation, and sometimes it works.

1:44 – Of course I’m just a stupid blogger sitting here in section 113. It’s easy to call out the coach. I mean what do I know about basketball? The only time I’ve ever drawn up a play it was for a co-ed 4th grade team at Hillside Community Center. But I watch a lot of basketball, and obsess about it (no joke, I couldn’t sleep the other night wondering if I should pick up Udonis Haslem or Andre Blatche on my fantasy team) and I think I know a few things at this point. As the season goes on I’m getting more and more skeptical about whether he’s the right guy for the job. Oh, and if you were asking, I’d run a pick and roll with Miller and Oden, with Roy waiting on the wing for the shot. If it’s NBA Live, it would work.

1:24 – Oden sets a pick for Roy, which is almost the same thing. Outlaw with the jumper, Blazers up 7.

1:02 – Spurs ball and they really need a bucket. Ginobili misses a runner and it looks like the Blazers have this one, barring another meltdown from the charity stripe. Roy misses the second, leaving the Blazers with a 10 point lead.

0:32 – Ginobili tries to get away with a kickball. What a Euro move. This isn’t fooooootballl, dude.

0:30 – George Hill fouled out! Maybe my predication was right about Ratliff running the show. Ugh, Bogans is back in, this is boring. Show us some love, Pop.

0:21 – Manu misses and this one is over. Big win for the Blazers. Roy finishes with 24, Oden’s got 14 and 7 boards after a good second half, and Steve Blake has 15 points and one big three pointer that basically sealed the game. So game one of the 3G experiment actually worked out. Thanks for following along as I blab, oh, 3340 words about one single Blazer game. Casey will be here on Sunday, so don’t forget to comment and give him shit. I know he loves it. Blazers are back to .500 and looking good for one night. I’m off to try to ask McMillan about Bayless.

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You decide. College soccer player Elizabeth Lambert

or Oregon’s LeGarrette Blount

Click here to view the embedded video.

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This photo got forwarded to me by my brother-in-law from Seattle. And while neither of us knows when or where it was taken, it’s certainly worthy of a statue somewhere outside Autzen Stadium.

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